Looking for a quiet, contemplative little think piece with a dash of British wit and a sprinkle of subtle, sophisticated humor?

Well, this isn't it.

But if you're looking for a full-out farce in the truest sense of the word, that's what you'll find in "No Sex Please, We're British," a fast-paced frenzy of slapstick and silliness playing at the Oyster Mill Playhouse in East Pennsboro Twp.

The home of British assistant bank manager Peter Hunter (Jeff Nell) and his new wife, Frances (Stephanie Via), is a quiet, civilized place -- that is, until an unexpected parcel (that's package for us Yanks) arrives in the mail.

Instead of the Scandinavian glassware that Frances thought she ordered, the package is filled with Scandinavian pornography the likes of which this quaint couple have certainly never seen before.

With the help of hyperactive, chronic worrier Brian (Craig Copas), who gets mixed up in the mess, the couple try desperately to hide the porno parcels (that's right, there's more than one) without letting Peter's mother (Lois Heagy), boss (Richard D. Johnson) or bank inspector (Stephen F. J. Martin) find out about it.

"No Sex Please" takes place on a single set: a rather plain living room with beige-colored furniture and potted plants here and there in a cozy little British home.

The simplicity is deceptive. By the second act, the characters are bolting in and out of the doors like something out of a slapstick silent film -- dashing and hiding from room to room in a frantic, frenzied scramble.

Copas shines the brightest in the cast for his effeminate Brian. From his overzealous squeals and giggles to his distressed faces and prissy walk style, Copas, vaguely reminiscent of "Monty Python" comedian Michael Palin, steals more laughs than the rest of the cast combined.

Early laughs are provided by the leading trio's reactions to the pornography, which contrasts sharply with their prim and proper personalities.

"My God, there's three of them here...on a trampoline," Peter says of one photo, with Frances and Brian reacting with horror, even while moving in for a closer look.

The comedy is kicked up several notches, however, as they scramble to try to dispose of the evidence, with each attempt only leading to crazier and crazier situations.

For instance, when Peter calls for a representative from the Scandinavian company to come over and clean up the situation, he gets two sleazily dressed prostitutes.

It is not long before they are chasing Peter's bank inspector, who happens to be drugged and in his underwear (don't ask), throughout the house.

Needless to say, if over-the-top antics don't appeal to you, neither will this show. But if you think you'd like a fast-paced farce filled with ridiculous hijinks and "Three's Company"-style mix-ups and misunderstandings, then "No Sex Please" might be, as the Brits say, your cup of tea.